soleilpirate (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
soleilpirate) wrote2007-11-11 07:17 pm
soleilpirate) wrote2007-11-11 07:17 pm
Entry tags:
Admit It - first X-Files baby!
Title: Admit it
Author: Soleil Compeau
Summary: Mulder has made his feelings for Scully pretty plain over
the years. Ever wonder why she's never reciprocated?
Rating: PG
Spoilers: missing scene and post-ep for "En Ami"
Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance
Disclaimer: These stunt doubles have just re-enacted what Mulder and Scully do between episodes. The true characters belong to Chris
Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and Fox Network. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author: Soleil Compeau
Summary: Mulder has made his feelings for Scully pretty plain over
the years. Ever wonder why she's never reciprocated?
Rating: PG
Spoilers: missing scene and post-ep for "En Ami"
Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance
Disclaimer: These stunt doubles have just re-enacted what Mulder and Scully do between episodes. The true characters belong to Chris
Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and Fox Network. No copyright infringement is intended.
"I won't let myself love him? Let me tell you something." Scully growled with more than a hint of steel in her voice. "Mulder and I have a very powerful connection, despite everything you've done to separate us and destroy him. Love him? You bet I love him." Scully heard the words as if someone else had sopken them.
Something inside her snapped, and several walls around her heart came crashing down. Scully turned her attention back to the road. She didn't want to say any more to this man than she had to. Besides, she now had some serious thinking to do.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Watching Mulder not watch her in his apartment, she knew they were past due for a serious conversation. Too long had they pretended
everything was 'fine.' Too long had they glossed things over, left things unspoken, only to maintain their professional relationship. Eddie VanBlundht, while disguised as Mulder, had claimed that they never talked. How right he was.
Later, as they left the empty offices of Cancerman, she began.
"Mulder can we go somewhere and talk?"
"I thought we were talking Scully."
He's still angry, she thought forlornly. What went through his mind when he found out I was gone? After all the times he's ditched me, the first time I do it it's with our greatest enemy. He doesn't know what this betrayal will do to us.
"I have something important to say to you Mulder. Important enough to not just blurt it out. It has to do with our partnership, with us." She hesitated a moment. "It's personal."
He looked into her eyes and the troubled, stand-offish look left his face for the first time. He steered the car towards her apartment.
They settled onto her couch and he tilted his head, inviting her to speak.
"I realized something on my trip," she began. It was oddly difficult to meet his eyes. "As you know, control and professionalism are very important to me." Mulder nodded slightly. "I've had to work very hard to distinguish myself in this Old Boys Club. There's a lot working against me. I'm a woman, I'm physically small, and I'm Spooky Mulder's partner."
Mulder shifted uncomfortably and seemed about to speak. Scully reached out a reassuring hand and touched his knee.
"Seven years ago, when I was sent to debunk your work, to..spy on you, I went determined to do my job..as a scientist. When you told me
finding the truth and finding Samantha were all that mattered to you I became yours, for better or for worse."
Mulder's eyes widened and he again tried to speak. Scully's finger on his lips was a very effective silencer.
"We saw so many strange things together. And I was so challenged by the work, and by you." Scully took a deep breath, steeling herself to
go on.
"Then I was abducted. And my sister was killed. And..the cancer, and my infertility. And I found, then lost..Emily." She was crying now, she couldn't help it. Mulder was wearing the panic face and had a deathgrip on her hand.
"Scully" he murmured. His other hand moved back and forth over her shoulder. Scully didn't think he was even aware he was touching her.
She had to go on, had to finish this.
"I blamed you for those things for awhile. No, not you, but your dammed quest. Your devotion to the truth became my cross to bear. I almost hated you."
Now he had a haunted, almost wild look in his eyes. He got up and paced around her apartment, thrusting his fingers through his hair. He had no idea what to say to her. Her words lashed through him more painfully than anything she had ever said.
"God Scully," he exclaimed hoarsely. "You should leave me before I kill you too! How can you even stand to look at me!" He rushed across
the room and fell on his knees before her. Now he was the one crying.
"Oh Mulder," Scully said soothingly. She pulled him tightly against her and let his head rest on her shoulder. His arms went around her waist and clung desperately.
"Hold on, it gets better baby."
Baby? Mulder went very still and listened intently.
"You are a very difficult man to be with sometimes Mulder. You're impulsive, and sometimes seem intent on destroying yourself. But something made itself extremely clear to me while I was gone."
"Of all the terrible things that happened to me..and to you too," she added mournfully, thinking of Samantha, his father, now his mother. "That Morley bastard is responsible for all of it!" she finished in a vehement tone.
Mulder pulled his head back and looked at her in astonishment.
"I blame him for everything," she continued in a near-whisper. Her voice was dark with the intensity of her emotion. I had that knowledge already, but it never struck my soul with such intensity before. Realizing that freed me to admit one of the biggest reasons I've stayed by your side for all these years."
Mulder was still on his knees before her, arms around her waist. He was absolutely motionless, eyes wide, breathing very fast.
Scully kissed the tip of his nose and smiled. Tears of joy shone now in her eyes. "I love you, too."
Something inside her snapped, and several walls around her heart came crashing down. Scully turned her attention back to the road. She didn't want to say any more to this man than she had to. Besides, she now had some serious thinking to do.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Watching Mulder not watch her in his apartment, she knew they were past due for a serious conversation. Too long had they pretended
everything was 'fine.' Too long had they glossed things over, left things unspoken, only to maintain their professional relationship. Eddie VanBlundht, while disguised as Mulder, had claimed that they never talked. How right he was.
Later, as they left the empty offices of Cancerman, she began.
"Mulder can we go somewhere and talk?"
"I thought we were talking Scully."
He's still angry, she thought forlornly. What went through his mind when he found out I was gone? After all the times he's ditched me, the first time I do it it's with our greatest enemy. He doesn't know what this betrayal will do to us.
"I have something important to say to you Mulder. Important enough to not just blurt it out. It has to do with our partnership, with us." She hesitated a moment. "It's personal."
He looked into her eyes and the troubled, stand-offish look left his face for the first time. He steered the car towards her apartment.
They settled onto her couch and he tilted his head, inviting her to speak.
"I realized something on my trip," she began. It was oddly difficult to meet his eyes. "As you know, control and professionalism are very important to me." Mulder nodded slightly. "I've had to work very hard to distinguish myself in this Old Boys Club. There's a lot working against me. I'm a woman, I'm physically small, and I'm Spooky Mulder's partner."
Mulder shifted uncomfortably and seemed about to speak. Scully reached out a reassuring hand and touched his knee.
"Seven years ago, when I was sent to debunk your work, to..spy on you, I went determined to do my job..as a scientist. When you told me
finding the truth and finding Samantha were all that mattered to you I became yours, for better or for worse."
Mulder's eyes widened and he again tried to speak. Scully's finger on his lips was a very effective silencer.
"We saw so many strange things together. And I was so challenged by the work, and by you." Scully took a deep breath, steeling herself to
go on.
"Then I was abducted. And my sister was killed. And..the cancer, and my infertility. And I found, then lost..Emily." She was crying now, she couldn't help it. Mulder was wearing the panic face and had a deathgrip on her hand.
"Scully" he murmured. His other hand moved back and forth over her shoulder. Scully didn't think he was even aware he was touching her.
She had to go on, had to finish this.
"I blamed you for those things for awhile. No, not you, but your dammed quest. Your devotion to the truth became my cross to bear. I almost hated you."
Now he had a haunted, almost wild look in his eyes. He got up and paced around her apartment, thrusting his fingers through his hair. He had no idea what to say to her. Her words lashed through him more painfully than anything she had ever said.
"God Scully," he exclaimed hoarsely. "You should leave me before I kill you too! How can you even stand to look at me!" He rushed across
the room and fell on his knees before her. Now he was the one crying.
"Oh Mulder," Scully said soothingly. She pulled him tightly against her and let his head rest on her shoulder. His arms went around her waist and clung desperately.
"Hold on, it gets better baby."
Baby? Mulder went very still and listened intently.
"You are a very difficult man to be with sometimes Mulder. You're impulsive, and sometimes seem intent on destroying yourself. But something made itself extremely clear to me while I was gone."
"Of all the terrible things that happened to me..and to you too," she added mournfully, thinking of Samantha, his father, now his mother. "That Morley bastard is responsible for all of it!" she finished in a vehement tone.
Mulder pulled his head back and looked at her in astonishment.
"I blame him for everything," she continued in a near-whisper. Her voice was dark with the intensity of her emotion. I had that knowledge already, but it never struck my soul with such intensity before. Realizing that freed me to admit one of the biggest reasons I've stayed by your side for all these years."
Mulder was still on his knees before her, arms around her waist. He was absolutely motionless, eyes wide, breathing very fast.
Scully kissed the tip of his nose and smiled. Tears of joy shone now in her eyes. "I love you, too."