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soleilpirate) wrote2008-11-04 10:34 am
Jake's Healing
Title: Red Shoe Diaries- Jake's Healing
Author: Soleil Compeau
Fandom: Red Shoe Diaries
Rating: NC17
Summary: Jake meets someone new..again. Can she win his trust and help him understand why he reads the Diaries in the first place?
Spoilers: RSD: The Movie, and RSD: episode Jake's Story
Pairing: Jake Winters/OFC
Chapter One
"Come on Stella," Jake said anxiously. "It's going to rain any minute!"
He glanced at the threatening clouds, nostrils flaring as he smelled the humid air. The black and white dog with him circled a tree several times before deigning to squat beneath it.
Jake clipped the leash to her collar and they started across the park. Suddenly Jake felt a raindrop on his head, then another, and another. The downpour began. Laughing somewhat hysterically, the man raced with his dog towards the sanctuary of his car.
Running with his head down as it was, it was inevitable that he should bump into someone. He found himself abruptly sitting on the wet grass, blinking dazedly at a woman in the same predicament. Stella barked and ran in circles around them, tangling them in her leash.
"I'm so sorry," the woman began, but she was laughing too hard to really sound apologetic. Long hair turned dark gold by the rain plastered her forehead and cheeks and ran down her neck. Bright blue eyes twinkled merrily at him. She wore only jeans, sandals and a T-shirt. Jake's gaze was drawn to the sight of her taut nipples poking at the thin cotton. He averted his eyes quickly and began to help them both up. Stella had tied them so efficiently that he had to put his hands all over her to accomplish that goal. He found himself blushing for the first time in years as they rose to their feet.
"Thank you. My goodness, I suppose I should have brought at least a jacket." The woman pushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled into Jake's. He smiled a self-deprecating grin and indicated his overcoat.
"Would you like mine? You're going to catch cold walking around like that." Involuntarily he looked at her breasts again. This time she caught him.
"Ah...no thank you. I think I'll just get a cab." Her voice had cooled and she crossed her arms over her chest, but she smiled warmly at him before walking away.
Back in his apartment, in dry clothes, Jake still thought about his encounter. Those blue, blue eyes looking at him with no sign of either coyness or fear. Those were things he had seen far too much of in his women. Images of her wet T-shirt clinging to her body filled his mind. He shook his head hard to clear it. Grabbing a basketball, he began tossing it repeatedly.
I wonder what she would think of Red Shoes, he thought. That was one secret I didn't share with Kate. She was just trying to get into my head by asking about them. Guess I knew that instinctively, that's why I didn't tell her.
The Red Shoes. I asked for experiences of betrayal, but I didn't get very many. Not many one night stands either, come to think of it. Most of the sexual experiences were in a relationship setting, or led to a relationship. Too bad that wasn't true of Kate and me.
Suddenly tiring of his lonely game of b-ball, Jake threw the ball aside and paced around the court. He thought about Kate. He relived the night when he learned she was married. *Married.* Yet he had still gone ahead and made love to her again. Perhaps he should have thrown her out when she told him she wanted him to see what she'd be giving up. He had loved her, though, or thought he had.
At least one good thing had come out of his experience with her. He knew now that he could have another relationship. He was ready to move on and be healed.
A few days later he sat in the diner looking at the newest batch of letters sent to Red Shoe Diaries. He sighed deeply. What had he really learned from them? It was interesting, even arousing, to learn of other people's experiences. But he still didn't truly understand why Alex had taken her life. He opened the first letter with a sense of resignation.
Dear Red Shoes,
I'm not really sure why I'm writing this to you.
Maybe telling another person will clarify things for
me as well. I've never betrayed anyone, but I do feel
betrayed by this experience.
I work closely with a very attractive man, have
worked with him for many years. We're involved in a
government project. We expose lies and thwart conspiracies,
among other things. Unfortunately I can't tell you much
more about our jobs. Suffice it to say that there has
always been a love and trust between us to rival many
married couples.
We agreed early on that a romantic relationship
would distract us too much from our work, which is
very important to both of us. However, so many things
have been happening to us and between us lately. We're
drawing even closer.
The other night I sneaked into his bedroom after
he fell asleep. We often work late together, but
generally the one of us who is in the other's apartment
will drive home. That night I upset the status quo,
big time.
He seemed to be dreaming, so I whispered erotic
things in his ear while I slipped my hand under the
blankets and fondled him. He started to wake up when
I put my head under the blankets and took him in my
mouth. Then he pulled me up to lie beside him in
the bed.
I thought he was passionate when it came to our
quest. He definitely knows what he's doing with a woman.
He took my clothes off, kissing me the whole time. We
made love two or three times that night. I had to leave
early the next morning to get ready for work. The thing
is, we haven't talked about it yet. We've just gone on
as if nothing happened.
I do keep a diary. I wrote it all down, what we
did together and how I feel about him. He read my
diary once before, when I was sick and we thought I
was going to die. I made doubly sure he would never
find *this* diary.
So my advice to you is the same as I give myself:
Take the chances that are presented to you. Don't let
fear rule you. If I don't follow this advice, I could
lose MY once in a lifetime love.
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Jake stared off into space and thought about his fears. What were they? That was easy. He didn't want to expose his heart again. He didn't want to be hurt anymore. He folded up the letter, put it in his pocket with the others, and left the diner. This woman's words put him in a contemplative mood. He wanted to walk and think; about Alex, and Kate, and why he still kept up the Diaries.
Chapter Two
At the grocery store the next morning, he saw the lady from the park in the next aisle. He hesitated, unsure whether he should speak to her. She solved the problem by turning around and catching a glimpse of him.
"Hi!" she greeted him with a huge smile that showed dimples. Now that she wasn't dripping with rainwater, Jake saw a fair amount of salt in her blond hair, and that her face was slightly lined. This woman was probably a decade older than him, in her early '50's at least.
"Hi," he returned her greeting. There was a youthful air about her, not to mention her well-toned body, that Jake found undeniably attractive.
"How's your dog? Nobody caught a cold, did they?" she asked cottequishly
He chuckled. "No." He looked at his shoes, his shopping basket, and the neatly stacked soup cans, anywhere but at her. He felt like an adolescent boy. Had he forgotten how to flirt with a woman? She saved him the trouble by hooking a finger in his basket and peeking inside.
"Ravioli...toaster pastries...soup. I see you're a bachelor. That's good news." She raised her eyes to him without lifting her head. "It's no fun eating by yourself, now is it?"
She flashed him that wide, sexy grin again. Jake's stomach rolled over slowly. "Perhaps you'd care to eat with me then?" he invited suggestively.
She straightened up. "Hmmm. Perhaps what I should have said first was, 'Hi, my name is Marybeth.' Pleased to meet you...?"
"I'm Jake." They shook hands.
"Can I get your number?" he asked next.
"Only if I can get yours." Marybeth rummaged in her purse for some paper. She tore it in half and handed a piece to him. They each wrote down their numbers and exchanged the bits of paper.
"Should I bring a salad or anything?" she joked.
"Well, uh.actually," Jake began awkwardly. "Dinner is something I'll have to work up to. I'd like to talk to you a little first."
Why did it seem as though her eyes were probing him, testing him for sincerity? Apparently he was not found lacking, because she nodded. "OK," she accepted his self-imposed chasteness.
Jake managed to remember the rest of the items on his list and pay for his groceries. He hurried home to tell Stella his news. He had a woman's phone number, and she had his.
"I don't know anything about her, except her name and that she's beautiful." He told the attentive dog, "She's got the most amazing smile. And her eyes are so blue! And alive and knowing." Jake took a deep cleansing breath and patted Stella's head. "I already sound like I'm in love," he muttered.
At ten thirty that night Jake's phone rang. He answered it with a casual, "Hey."
"Hello." Marybeth's voice greeted him softly. "I realize it may be premature to call you so soon, but I wanted to say goodnight."
Jake sat down in his armchair and relaxed. She continued, "I'm wearing my favorite nightgown and I've already brushed my teeth. Now I'm sitting on the edge of the bed."
"Did you call me for phone sex?" Jake wanted to know. He was interested in what kind of response he would get.
Marybeth hooted with laughter. "Oh Jake! Ah ha ha ha! You have a mighty high opinion of yourself, don't you? Whooo!"
Jake was indignant at first. He soon realized that she was laughing not AT him, but WITH him when she sputtered, "I can see where you might have gotten the idea, though!"
Finally her chuckles tapered off. Jake relaxed into his chair once again. He let his head fall back closed his eyes. They breathed together in companionable silence for a bit.
"I'm going to be really busy for the next couple of days," Jake finally broke the comfortable silence. "A new building of mine is going up. I have to meet with the crew and suppliers, hammer out all the final details. Let me call you this weekend. I'll have more time for a nice, long talk with you then."
"You're in construction?"
"I'm an architect. I design and build skyscrapers. The BlueWater building is mine. Also the offices over in Monroe Square."
"My, that's impressive." Her voice was beginning to thicken in sleepiness. "I simply run a library."
She could hear the smile in his voice when he answered. "Hey, you guys are the secret masters of the world. You control information. Now I'm impressed."
"Thank you Jake." Her voice was soothing and sweet in his ear. "Good night, pleasant dreams."
He felt warmth spread throughout his whole body. "Goodnight Marybeth. Sweet dreams to you too."
Chapter Three
Jake walked through his front door and hung up his jacket. He sat down at the kitchen counter and cradled his head in his arms. The past three days had been long and rough. It wasn't so much that everyone had given him a hard time, exactly. It was just that all their last minute demands for what seemed to him inconsequential things were frustrating and mentally exhausting.
He poured himself a glass of wine and made himself comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt. He reclined on the bed and felt the tension begin to seep away. Anticipation coiled within him. Tonight he would call Marybeth. He would call her and learn more about this intriguing woman.
Jake's fingers toyed with the buttons on his phone. Picking up the receiver, he swiftly dialed her number. On the fourth ring she answered, sounding out of breath. "Hello?"
"Hello. It's me, it's Jake."
"Oh, hello." She paused. "I was outside enjoying the sunshine when something told me to head back inside. You're lucky, one more ring and the answering machine would have picked up."
"You have a thing for being outside, don't you?" he teased.
"Guilty." Marybeth admitted. "My favorite weather is the windy, humid calm before a storm." Jake heard rustling sounds as his phone partner got comfortable on her couch. "I'm really glad you called. I've been looking forward to hearing from you."
Jake shifted down into the pillows and groaned as his tired muscles relaxed further. He took another drink of wine. "Aaahh," he sighed.
"You've had a difficult couple of days. Haven't you?" she asked him.
"How do you know that?"
"Well." she paused again. "Last time we talked you said you had a lot of meetings and details to work out. And there was pain in your groan just now."
"You're a very perceptive woman," Jake murmured.
"It's just a matter of paying attention to your little signals."
He sounded like a lost little boy. "Nobody's paid attention to my signals in a while."
"That's too bad." Her voice lowered to a near whisper. "A man like you should be pampered."
Jake couldn't suppress his sigh of longing. He hadn't realized how much he missed a woman's touch.
"Right now for example. You've had a hard few days, so you're probably quite tense. You could use a backrub." Her tone was soothing and hypnotic. "Why don't you lie down on the bed and take your shirt off? I'll straddle your hips and rub your skin slowly, first gently, then more and more firmly."
He felt his body reacting to the images she painted. "We're perilously close to phone sex here," he rasped.
Marybeth's reply was a seductive chuckle. "Once I have you nice and loosened up, I'll pour us each a glass of wine. After we drink the wine, I'll kiss you." Her breath caught in her throat. "Your lips and tongue have a sweet tang to them, a mixture of the wine and your own particular flavor."
"Stop it." Jake commanded roughly. They sat in silence, unsure what to say next. He could hear her breath shuddering in her throat even through the phone. He moistened his lips and inhaled deeply. "You certainly know how to treat a man."
"It must be all those years of being married."
Jake's eyes slipped shut. His heart thudded painfully in his chest. NoNoNo. "You're married?" he croaked.
"Well actually, I'm divorced." Long pause. "Does that bother you?"
He began wishing he could just switch his adrenal glands off. "How long have you been divorced?"
"It does bother you doesn't it?" Marybeth sounded wistful. "It's been four years. But we were estranged for quite a long time before that."
His pulse was returning to normal. He began to feel brave enough to try opening his eyes. "It doesn't bother me. You just took me by surprise that's all." He took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Marybeth, I...I think I've worked up to dinner. Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?"
"Yes I would Jake," she answered immediately. "I was really hoping you would ask me, soon."
"All right. I'll pick you up at six thirty?"
"Yes. I'm looking forward to it."
After hanging up, Jake reached up and felt the huge grin on his face, as if not quite believing it was there. He moved through the next day with most of his attention focused on the evening's activities. He dressed that night with more than usual anxiety. Finally deciding on his navy blue suit with the light blue shirt, he left at six to pick up his date. With a last pat for Stella, he whistled his way to the car.
Knocking on her door, Jake took an observant glance around. Marybeth lived in a newer part of town. It looked nice with all the maple trees lined up and down the street. Her own home was a small brick house with a profusion of flowers and herbs in the garden. When she opened the door, Jake almost forgot to breathe.
Marybeth's hair was swept up into a chignon, fastened with a bunch of tiny white flowers. She wore a knee length royal blue dress with long sleeves and a high neckline. Despite the modest cut, it hugged her body in a way that made Jake's mind race ahead to how this evening would end.
He smiled at her, grinning all the way to his hairline. Marybeth's eyes widened and she gasped. "Jake. You should smile more often. My God, you're so beautiful with your face lit up like that."
Now he ducked his head self-consciously. "Thanks. But if I'm lit up it's because of you. You're stunning."
She shut and locked her front door, came down the steps, and linked her arm in his. "Where are we going?" she inquired.
"Well," Jake helped her into her seat. "Do you like Italian?" He started the engine.
"Yes. I love Italian."
"There's a place I like called the Macaroni Grill. It's very nice, but understated."
"Sounds nice." Marybeth admired him as he drove. His thick hair looked shiny and fluffy. She wanted to run her fingers through it and bury her face in it and smell it. His suit had a very nice cut as well. The drape of his pants did marvelous things for his thighs and muscled calves, not to mention his broad shoulders in that jacket. She realized she was beginning to drool and fastened her gaze firmly on the dashboard.
Chapter Four
They arrived at the restaurant and Jake immediately ordered the house white. A jug of wine was brought to their table, with the injunction that they keep count of how many glasses were consumed.
Marybeth was halfway through her shrimp marinara and Jake was halfway through his lasagna before either of them felt the need to speak. They had been making love with their eyes up until that point. Jake was such a sensuous man. She was really enjoying watching him eat, watching him drink, and look at her like that.
"I really like it here. It's delicious," she said, looking boldly into his soft hazel eyes.
Apparently he caught the double entendre, because he reached across the table and took her hand. His fingers traced erotic patterns over her palm and wrist. "Wait 'till you taste dessert."
She had to break the mood. She was falling too quickly under his spell. "So," she withdrew her hand and took up her fork. "I know you build skyscrapers, and you have a dog. What else should I know about you?"
A shadow fell across Jake's eyes. He took a sip of wine and contemplated for a moment. "Today is an anniversary for me."
"Oh?"
"Three months ago I met a woman named Kate." He fell silent and looked troubled.
Marybeth stopped twirling her fork through her pasta and reached for her wine. There was another woman. Why did this always happen to her?
Jake continued," She was married. I didn't know it. She played me, told me she was falling in love with me and that she would never forget me. It all came down to the same thing though. I got my heart broken. Again."
She stared at him for a long time. Nothing more seemed to be forthcoming. Finally she swallowed hard, and smiled a bitter smile. "You and I have something in common then. My ex-husband, Will, met me when I was still 'sowing my wild oats' as they say. I was considered quite the bad girl then."
Marybeth took a fortifying drink. "Will is my age. He set about to woo me with fierce determination. When we married, he wanted to keep our finances, our jobs, and much of our personal business separate. What was his was his and what was mine was mine. This was fine with me initially. It was wonderful in fact. The arrangement allowed me to keep my vaunted independence while reaping all the benefits of our partnership.
"Things continued this way until it got to the point that I couldn't ask the simplest questions. Curiosity such as 'What did you do today?' or 'Where are you going?' went unsatisfied. Finally we were simply living completely separate lives. It ended when I learned about the many other women that were part of his private life."
She paused again and moistened her throat with more wine. Jake's face was inscrutable. She hadn't meant to share so much darkness, and she tried to put a close to the topic of conversation. "So you see, Jake, I know what it's like to have infidelity touch you."
Marybeth leaned forward in an attempt to recapture the flirty atmosphere of earlier. "You said something about dessert?"
When the waitress came to clear their plates, he ordered the tiramasu. He poured them each another glass in anticipation of eating the delicious treat. When it was set before them, he cut a piece and held his fork out temptingly.
She caught his eye, wanting to make sure he clearly understood her next words. "I have the impression that you like strong women, but aggressiveness is not what you require right now. I'll let you make the first move, but don't take too long. I'm not a patient woman."
With that, she leaned forward and accepted the proffered bite, watching his eyes darken and his nostrils flare. In return, she lifted a piece to his lips. He took it with a look of pure rapture. "Mmm, goood," he drawled and licked his full lips slowly.
Good thing I'm sitting down, she thought weakly. My knees would buckle and give out if I was standing during that little performance.
They continued feeding each other until the rich dessert was gone. Normal enjoyment-type sounds were exaggerated by each of them as they tried to arouse each other in a public venue. When once again their plates were empty, Jake and Marybeth had to decide where to go and what to do next.
"So.when's your curfew, little girl?" Jake questioned playfully.
Her lips curved. "I appreciate the compliment. But to answer your question," her voice lowered to a husky drawl, "I have no curfew and nowhere to be until tomorrow morning."
She watched as he slipped a mask of control over the raw hunger on his face. "Then let's go." He signaled the server to settle the bill.
A total of six glasses had been consumed between them. It was more than she usually drank, but not nearly enough to make her inebriated. Instead, she had a very pleasant buzz. Marybeth suspected it was the same for Jake.
They held hands during the drive back to his apartment. By unspoken agreement they were going there to prolong their date. As they neared their destination, Marybeth slipped her hand from his fingers and laid her palm lightly on his leg. Her touch was not considered forward. It definitely let him know that she did want him. His sudden indrawn breath was gratifying.
Jake parked his vehicle and turned it off. Hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, he spoke in a rough whisper. "I've been wanting you to kiss me all night." He turned to face her. "Now I'm going to take what I want!"
They reached for each other and met in a hot, open-mouthed kiss. There was nothing tender and chaste about it. Their tongues lapped and rolled together until their hearts were pounding and their hands were groping frantically. Marybeth felt his fingers sliding up her thigh and pulled back a bit. "Inside," she gasped.
"Here in the car?" he muttered. His hand continued its upward course until he was brushing the crease of her leg.
"Stop!" She grabbed his wrist to stop his maddening tickling. "We have to get inside your apartment!"
"Okay." Together they ran like children into the elevator, resuming necking as it glided silently upwards. He teased her nipples through her dress as she discovered how sensitive his ears were.
The elevator door opened and Jake dragged her across the room and threw her down on the bed. He didn't seem inclined to undress her, nor was he interested in letting her take his clothes off, although she would have liked to. Watching him feverishly work at his buttons, Marybeth was struck by sudden doubt.
"Jake? Maybe we should stop."
Chapter Five
He looked at her as if he literally did not understand her words. "What!?"
"I, uh. I'm not very good at one night stands."
His face softened and he bent over the bed to tenderly cup her face in his hands. "Marybeth, I'm not either. There is something more here. I feel comfortable with you, I feel trust that...that I'm safe with you."
A wave of tenderness filled her and she pulled his head closer to meet his lips in a passionate kiss. When she let go, it was to discover that Jake had shed his shirt and was lowering his pants. She looked eagerly to his groin, admiring his erection thick and long against his belly. She cupped and stroked his balls, but he pushed her hand away with a whimper.
Marybeth peeled her dress off, rolled down her pantyhose, and removed her bra and panties. The way Jake was slowly stroking his penis while watching her undress was making her insides liquefy.
She felt shy suddenly. Though she kept her body in shape, she was not a young woman anymore. She feared that Jake would not find her attractive once her flaws were revealed. She needn't have worried. Jake poured wave upon wave of admiration and desire over her naked body.
Though he hadn't bothered to undress her, he did unfasten the flower clasp in her hair and draped her locks over his fingers. He spent some time playing with it. He ran his fingers through her hair and lightly massaged her scalp. Oh, it felt so good to be touched this way.
His long, elegant hands caressed her thighs, her belly, her shoulders. He discovered that she liked her neck kissed. He tickled the backs of her knees and delighted in her response. Then he devoted himself to worshiping her breasts.
He began by caressing her rounded flesh with his fingertips. Being careful not to touch her erect nipples, he then followed the same path with his tongue. He swirled in ever smaller circles until he was tracing round and round her areolas. Back and forth he went until she squirmed beneath him. Marybeth rubbed her hands over his smooth back and dug her fingernails into his perfect tight ass.
Her breasts were large enough to push together, so he did, aligning her nipples side by side. The sight was too tempting for him. With an "aahh" of delight, he sucked both rosy tips into his mouth. At the first stroke of his tongue, her lips rose off the bed and she groaned deeply. Immediately, Jake snaked down the bed to rest his head between her thighs.
"Ohhh yeah," she moaned. So long since anyone had done this for her.Will had shown little interest in oral sex.
She looked down to watch him. He glanced up at her as he spread her legs further. His eyes were hot molten green, dark and wild with lust. He kept his eyes on her as he licked through her moist folds.
Marybeth jerked as if touched by a live wire. She couldn't stop looking at his tongue disappearing into her again and again. Jake's eyes closed and she heard him moan into her. He really seemed to be enjoying himself. Between licks she heard him murmur, "Tastes good."
Quite unexpectedly, a finger entered her and his lips moved up to suckle her clitoris. She arched hard into the bed, throwing her head back and sobbing in release. His voice came to her ears like a radio being slowly turned up. "...sexy like that..love the way you come...your delicious little pussy tastes so sweet."
Jake did not wait for her to fully recover. He crawled up her body and she opened her eyes in time to see his expression as he pushed into her. He lifted himself up on his hands and closed his eyes as he thrust slowly, enjoying every inch in. "Ohhh, so tight. So wet. Mmmm good."
She pressed into him at his next surge. Their hips moved together; steady, fierce, passionate. He kissed her again and again. He laved her neck and collarbones with his mouth. "Oh yeah," thrust, "Marybeth," thrust, "I like it. I like this. God!"
Jake pumped faster and faster until he was pummeling her mercilessly. Marybeth gripped his biceps and held on as the headboard began to rattle. She cried out and moaned and chanted mindlessly, which only seemed to egg him on.
"Ohh, Jake, ooh," she gasped as another orgasm crescendoed over her.
He moaned very loudly. "It feels so good when you come!" His face contorted with pleasure as he pounded her with deep, long strokes.
"Come now, Jake! Let me see how beautiful you are!" Marybeth implored him.
"Don't wanna come yet! Too much fun...making you...feel good!" he panted.
"Oh God, you do!" she answered him. "Love your tongue!"
"You liked that?"
"Yes. YES! JAKE!"
"OHHH!" He cried out again and she got her wish to see him. He gasped unintelligible noises over and over, pumping gently through his climax. It left him shaking and trembling and she held him tightly as he recovered.
She was actually drifting off when suddenly Jake lifted up, withdrew from her, and got out of bed. He was nearly across the room before turning to face her.
"So," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Tell me all your secrets."
Marybeth sat up slowly and cautiously. What had gotten into him? "Well, I don't normally tell all my secrets right away. I prefer them to be revealed during the course of a relationship."
His face was hard. "Fine. Just tell me the ones you think will come between us."
Instead, she turned to the dog who was begging to be let on the bed. "Before I answer any questions, I have one of my own. What's this sweet little girl's name?" She patted the sheets, and Stella bounded up for some affection.
She kept watching Jake out of the corner of her eye as she played with the dog. He didn't take his piercing gaze off of her as he waited. Normally she would shut down such rude behavior with a few sharp retorts. Every line of his body told her how important it was that she answer him, somehow.
Finally Marybeth sighed and pushed Stella away. Looking at Jake, she offered, "I don't know what difference this makes, but I have a daughter. She goes to school out of state. She writes me every day and calls me every week."
Her open words and relaxed posture put him more at ease. He went to his closet and pulled out a fresh pair of boxers. "Bathroom's that way, if you want to freshen up." he mumbled, pointing the way.
Marybeth shut the door, hoping he wouldn't want to join her. She disliked company in the shower. His bathroom had a rather antique look to it. She admired the stained glass window. The bathtub and shower combination looked freshly installed and more modern than the rest.
By the time she emerged, freshly showered, Jake seemed to have found his manners and charm again. "Marybeth." Oh she loved the way he said her name, as if there was no one else in the entire world when he said it. "I'd really like to wake up with you. Will you stay?"
God, she could deny this man nothing. But soon they were going to talk about his little outburst after their lovemaking. She knew he had a painful past from the few clues he had already dropped. She felt a fierce protectiveness towards him. I hope it's not too bad, she thought. I hope I can help him.
They lay back down on the bed awkwardly. He opened his arms to her with a sweet smile and she snuggled up to him. Good-looking, great in bed, AND he like to hold me, she chuckled inwardly. I'd say he's a keeper. Remembering their earlier phone conversation, she rubbed his back gently until his deep breathing told her he was asleep. She quickly followed after him, more comfortable sharing a bed with someone than she would have thought.
Chapter Six
Always an early riser, Marybeth was awakened next dawn by the sun streaming through Jake's windows, and the scent of his skin beneath her nose. He was curled up like a cat facing away from her, and she was spooned up into his back. Jake hadn't showered last night. She was glad of it, for he smelled divine this morning. She scratched her nails over his chest and he sighed. Marybeth stretched languorously. Not only was she an early riser, but an amorous one. Now, here with Jake, she could indulge. She trailed her fingers down his stomach to his thighs. He began to uncurl with a moan. She knew he was still asleep, but swiftly swimming up towards wakefulness. Her palm brushed over the tip of his morning erection. He rolled onto his back and Marybeth ducked under the covers. She wanted him in her mouth before he woke all the way up.
My, he was impressively built. Knowing she would never fit all of him in, her hand curled around his shaft as she stroked and sucked firmly.
"Oh yeah," he moaned. "I wish I could wake up to this sight every morning."
Casting her eyes up to his face, she saw him looking at her with passionate craving. His thighs were shaking. He moaned again, "God! I love getting my cock sucked!"
Marybeth felt a wave of heat shudder through her. Instead of angering her, his comment, indicating his supreme pleasure in her act, aroused her greatly. She continued to work him towards the edge. It had been a long time since she had done this, so she was gratified when his whole body began trembling. He called out mindlessly and soon she heard impassioned pleas from him. "Marybeth! Make love to me! Please, make love to me!"
I am, oh I am, Jake. She didn't stop for one moment. Her efforts were rewarded by his hips jerking off the bed and his body first stiffening, then shuddering in bliss. She soothed and gentled him with her hands as he recovered. He reached for her.
"I wish I had time to let you reciprocate," she said reluctantly when it became clear he meant to drape her thighs over his face. "I have to go home to dress for work.." Suddenly she grinned mischievously at him. "You can pay me back later, if you wish."
"Can we have lunch? Not today, I mean tomorrow. I don't have time for more than a quickie today." She raised her brows at his choice of words, but nodded in happy agreement. They set their plans for a picnic in the very park they had met, and parted. Before he drove off, Marybeth extracted a promise from him to explain his fit of pique of the night before.
Jake spread out the thick blanket with exaggerated care, and set out the large wicker basket filled with food from a deli he frequented.
"What's on the menu?" Marybeth teased him. She looked girlish in shorts and a tank top; hair caught up in a casual ponytail.
Jake named each item as he pulled it out. "Fried chicken, roast beef sandwiches, potato salad, uh, here's some biscuits with butter and honey to go with them. Chocolate cake, beer, soda...ants...oops!" They laughed together as he chased the nuisances away. He reclined on one elbow and looked at her. He cleared his throat. Marybeth paid attention. She wouldn't have to prompt him to talk after all.
He withdrew a thick stack of letters from his pocket. "This is really hard for me to talk about, okay? I don't tell people about this part of my life. Last time I did, I thought I was meeting someone who would understand, who would help the memories to stop hurting." He looked up at her again. "I was wrong about that. I don't think I'm wrong now." He took a deep breath, muttered, "Here goes," and started talking.
"Two years ago, I met a woman named Alex. She was beautiful and smart and funny and alive. So, so alive." He stopped a moment and swallowed as painful memories swamped him. "She had a dog named Stella. She fell in love with me, and I fell in love with her. But Alex had a dark side. A dark side which I found fascinating, but that she feared. It led her to another man.
"It was control she was really looking for. Maybe she just wanted a way to escape the power she thought loving me exerted over her life. Anyway, I read it all in her diary after she...died."
"What happened to her Jake?" Marybeth asked quietly. Her heart ached to see him in such pain. This was obviously something that had torn him apart.
"She killed herself. She couldn't handle her own darkness and what it made her do.what it made her crave." He wiped tears from his eyes surreptitiously. "I could have helped her if she had just TOLD me about it! I would have done anything for her."
Marybeth reached for him but he held up a hand to stop her. "I tell you all this now with the benefit of hindsight. At the time, I thought I would go out of my mind. I couldn't understand why she would do such a thing, just because of a secret she held back. I took out an ad in the paper, for women to send me their secret diaries to help me understand. It's called the Red Shoe Diaries. Here's, here's some of them."
He fumbled a little giving them to her. She glanced through the recent letters briefly, and her eyebrows rose. "Jake, these are very erotic stories." She glanced at him but he would not meet her eyes. "Did they help you? Help you understand?"
"Some of them gave me insights," he admitted. "I think I just needed time."
She handed the letters back and picked up some food. After a moment, Jake began eating tentatively. They were both silent and he wondered if he had made a mistake in telling her so soon. He had wanted to come clean about his voyeurism, especially since he planned to stop the Diaries. He hoped that Marybeth would understand.
Chapter Seven
Marybeth was busy behind the desk, letting Judy take the bulk of the customers, when she heard the sexy rumble of a man's voice. "Excuse me. I need a little help. I seem to have run up quite a late fee."
Startled, she looked up into Jake's face, angled down near her own. He was smilingly holding out a book titled, "The Power of Seduction."
Taking the book and glaring sternly, Marybeth said, "So this is where this book has been. It's been missing for the last several years!"
At his schoolboy, penitent look, she couldn't hold back a snort of laughter. He grinned. Without backing out of their intimate tete-a-tete, Jake murmured, "I've come to take you away."
"Oh? That's funny. You don't look like a bottle of Calgon."
He laughed deeply. Marybeth glanced over at Judy to see her assistant trying her best to look busy elsewhere. A smile curved her lips as she realized what a picture she must present whispering to a handsome man like Jake. Taking his hand in hers, she led him out the door. "Let's go for a walk."
They strolled along for awhile. Jake kept glancing at her and opening his mouth as if to speak, then changing his mind. Or perhaps he couldn't find the words to express how he felt. Finally she couldn't stand it anymore. She stopped and faced him squarely. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she asked him, "What is it?"
"I keep waiting for the sky to fall," he admitted. "For you to tell me that you have a disease, that you're moving next week, that you don't really like men." He laughed a little. "I just...I don't..."
"Why on earth would you think I would say something like that? Why do I have to be holding back bad news?"
He hesitated a long moment. He took her hand and they resumed walking. "I already told you about Kate. She got in my head and messed with me big time."
As they strolled along, Jake took her hand in both of his and studied their intertwined fingers. "I was really falling for her. When I walked into her house and saw her with her husband."
"What does she have to do with me?" Marybeth snapped in exasperation. For the second time she stopped and faced him. "Honestly Jake, I'm a different person!"
He seemed shocked by her rising anger. "It really affected me," he tried to explain.
"I know that. Obviously your experiences had a profound effect on you. As much as I sympathize and ache with you, you can't punish me for the mistakes of others!"
Jake stood mute in the face of her tirade. Looking into his wounded face and sad eyes, Marybeth felt herself beginning to relent. Then she thought of those Red Shoe Diaries he had shown her. No! She would not spend her life dreaming, and thinking about other people's love lives. She wanted to experience life, all of life, firsthand. Rage swelled up in her.
"If you're so afraid things will go wrong, perhaps you should just keep reading other woman's diaries! You might learn something!" she shouted, and turned on her heel. Stomping away, she left Jake standing there.
He stared after her with his mouth hanging open. His mind flew back to the letter from the woman who had slept with her co-worker. She had said much the same thing: don't let fear rule you. It only took Jake a second to realize what he needed to do.
"Marybeth!" he shouted. Running after her, he reached the library door through which she had just passed. Hesitating though, not wanting to make a scene, Jake pondered his next move. He hurried to his car. There was much to do before Marybeth returned home.
He was watching when she walked up her steps and saw the envelope. In it was a simple note asking her to come to his apartment to talk. She hesitated a long moment in thought before getting back in her car and driving away. Jake breathed a sigh of relief and started his own vehicle. He had to hurry to get there at the right time. His timing had to be perfect.
Marybeth reached his door and tentatively tried the knob. It opened under her hand. "Jake?" she called uncertainly as she entered. She stopped short when she saw what was waiting for her. Red and white balloons filled the big space near the basketball hoop. There were easily dozens and dozens. Each and every one of them bore her name on contrasting colors. On the counter, the table, the bedside stand, stood vases of red and white roses. It was amazing. He walked up behind her and she swiveled around to show him her shocked pleasure at his surprise.
"Happy belated Valentine's Day," he said solemnly.
She laughed breathlessly and hugged him. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier," she whispered.
Jake felt his throat constrict. "Shhh," he laid a finger against her lips. "I canceled my ad. I won't be getting the Diaries anymore. I don't need them. I'm letting go of the past and not letting fear." His words were cut off by Marybeth dragging him into a kiss of pure desire.
They shuffled slowly to the bed. Neither of them wanted to let go and stop exploring lips and tongue. This time, Marybeth had the distinct pleasure of removing each article of his clothing and licking the skin she found. When he was fully naked, she explored his body with light touches that left him rampant. At last, she relented and allowed him to similarly undress her. With his mouth buried at the juncture of her thighs and her hands fisted in his hair, Marybeth found herself wishing it would go on forever.
Jake rose up and rolled them over until she was on top. As she rode him slowly, Jake brushed worshipful hands over her thighs as they clenched and unclenched alongside his. Soon their hunger overcame them and faster movement was required. He held her hips to steady her as he pounded upwards and she stroked heavily down on him. Again and again they danced together until the sounds of their pleasure filled the air.
Afterwards, lying intertwined on the bed and drowsy with contentment, she still could not stop touching him. Her hand made lazy circles on his chest while his own brushed lightly over her stomach.
"Jake?" she asked softly.
"Hmmm" he yawned.
"I think I love you."
Silence. Then, "I think I love you too, Marybeth."
There was more silence for a while. They were nearly asleep when something occurred to her. "What are we going to do with all these balloons?"
End
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Wonderful work, love ♥
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Great story, Soleil!! *kiss*
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